Snarflickle (snar-flic-kle) – The look on your face while using your thumb and middle finger to flick a bug off your tablesaw.

Boardinanny (bord-n-anny) – Any person who treats a piece of wood like it's their newborn grandchild.

Tocutzapeal (to-cuts-appeal) – When the decision to buy a piece of rough lumber comes down to the act of taking your knife and first slicing a hunk off the face then another one off the edge so you can “see the grain”.

Glusmossis (glu-smo-sis) – The ability of glue to appear in places where it was never used.

Supastaneousexploschun (sup-a-stain-e-ous-explo-shun) – The crescendo of expletives the neighbors hear right after you apply the stain and discover glusmossis has occurred.

Vagapartzabond (vag-a-parts-a-bond) – A crucial part of a project that suddenly grew legs and disappeared over the horizon.

Vigilantatroupe (vig-il-ant-a-troop) – The posse of friends or family members you rounded up to go walking around your shop to look for the part that went on a vagapartzabond.

Slopinwipeawhile (slop-n-wipe-a-while) – The interval between opening the can of stain and when you can actually start applying it on the piece because removing the tight-fitting lid caused a goodly amount to spew all over your workbench.

Guestaspecalation (gues-ta-spec-a-lay-shun) – The euphoric moment when you realize you've just correctly added two improper fractions and don't have the slightest clue how you did it.

Upsioopssidosis (up-c-oops-c-doe-sis) – The effect of reading an upside-down measuring tape and you transpose the numbers, i.e., 58 instead of 85 but don't discover it until after the cut was made.

Increduignomoron (in-cred-u-igno-moron) – The impossibility for you to believe you were so stupid to pull an upsioopssidosis.

Spendeewhee – (spen-di-wee) – When you walk into a Tool ‘n Drool and instantly get caught up in the moment; the mortgage payment, the kid needs shoes, the car's out of gas, it's all a distant memory as you spend it all.

Strangamoshun – (strang-a-motion) – The movement your wife makes after discovering you committed a spendeewhee. She sneaks in from behind, one hand pinches off your nose while the other clamps heavily over your mouth. She now has command authority – she knows you only have so much time and you can't speak but you can hear.

Blozaholout – (blows-a-hole-out) – The effect of a strangamoshun, usually through the ears, in the vain attempt to breathe you try to create new holes from which to draw in air.

Toolimagiwannabe – (tool-imag-i-wan-na-be) – You realize the mistake you made in buying a cheap tool but you pretend it's gonna perform just like a good one will.

Bouncaflortorium – (bounce-a-flor-tor-ium) – The area surrounding your workbench where precious chisels, hand planes and layout tools hit the floor.

Ouchamefeetango – (ouch-a-mi-fee-tango) – The foot dance you do to protect your feet when something sharp is knocked from the workbench onto the bouncaflortorium.

Caffespilaree – (caf-y-spil-a-ree) – The effect that begins with you knocking over your coffee cup then while you frantically try to catch it to keep it from going everywhere you knock everything else from the workbench onto the bouncaflortorium.

Goofaridicidisplay – (goof-a-ri-dici-dis-play) – The din of the caffespilaree has subsided but a new one begins as you storm around the shop ranting and raving like a lunatic.

Beltzastandofh – (belt-za-stan-dofh) – Where your belt sander eats a brand new belt and you're too scared to put another one for fear it'll happen again.

Fasinrsticupti (fas-in-er-stic-up-ti) – A screw or nail protruding from whatever you're belt sanding that was responsible for causing the beltzastandofh.

Sandaspinofh (san-da-spin-ofh) – What happens when you set down a ROS before the pad has stopped spinning. This forces the handle to whip viciously around, dragging the cord with it in a wide spiral, which results in a grand caffespilaree and culminates into such a goofaridicidisplay that your wife is forced to record it into the annals of your family history.